The first time I fired someone, I had no idea what I was doing.

The first time I fired someone, I had no idea what I was doing. I thought I did but looking back, I really didn’t. I was functioning well outside my comfort zone in an area I had little to no experience with, and I was figuring out this “being a boss” thing as I went.  This was it.  I was going to let a team member go.  I recall the day in vivid detail. 

The realization that she was not the ideal fit for her role or my practice was not a new thought. I was scared though. This was going to be hard and our team was a family. She was a long time employee, her family and friends were all patients, and we practiced in a small town. All the things leaders often feel when faced with this scenario. It is terrifying. 

She was such a good person but just didn’t have the skills needed for what I wanted in her role. When I sat her down, she was happy and smiling. ‘This would be easier if she knew it was coming, I thought’. When I started talking, I saw her happy face turn to shock with wide eyes and body language that almost screamed, “I think I’m about to be fired.” As soon as her shock was validated with reality, her emotions quickly turned to sad acceptance. 

All I could do was wish her well and move on as best as we could. As it often happens in life, I’ve grown significantly as a leader since that time and have had much more experience letting people go from their jobs. I know so much more and also know that I did it wrong all those years ago and actually failed her as her leader, which I didn’t realize at the time. Here is what I learned that I didn’t know. 

The firing should never come as a shock. What I mean to say is that a good leader is a coach, and prior to firing someone I believe we need to do our best coaching in an effort to bring their performance up to the expected level. After weeks of coaching without improvement, the firing will be expected when it happens. 

Clear is kind. This saying is just so true. We show loyalty the most when we are honest with those we lead. Nobody can change behavior if they are unaware that they are falling short. This is exactly why I believe the Check In Meetings we coach here at ACT might be one of the top 3 quickest habits to move someone from good to great as a leader. Regularly scheduled check-ins allow you to be clear and kind at the same time, while providing the opportunity to coach them on how to perform to their best. Had I been having regular check-ins with my team members, one of two things would have happened. She would have had the chance to improve her performance or she would have seen it coming, making that day much easier for both of us. 

More than anything else, matching core values will predict future success. The necessity to let someone go often isn’t a question of someone being a good or bad person, hardworking or lazy, and sometimes not even a question of the quality of their work, but rather their principles. Someone sharing your values will jump at the chance to be coached and improve and will want to exceed your expectations. They just need to know what specifically they can do to meet them. On the other hand, a person not sharing your principles is moving in a different direction and the sooner you part ways the better, both for you and for them.

“Today is the day.” We at ACT like using this saying when discussing this topic as a symbol of the fact that most dentists wait WAY too long to let someone go. While this comes from a place of empathy, the fact is the rest of the team is watching and losing respect for you every day you prolong the inevitable. So when you know what you need to do, wake up, say “today is the day,” and follow these tips: 

Tip #1 - Be quick, clear, and respectful - this should be a short conversation where you firmly declare your decision, a few reasons as to why, and sincerely wish them well. 

Tip #2 - There is no room for debate. Debating will do nothing good for you. Agree to disagree and restate your firm decision from Tip #1. 

Tip #3 - Share with your team soon after your decision and why the decision was made so they can learn from it what is expected. Offer to meet with anyone who has questions. Be respectful of the person that was fired, careful to not to be disparaging in any way. Explain that fitting into the culture of your practice is not an indication of them being a good or bad person. Show your team that you sincerely wish them well. 

Tip #4 - Quickly turn the negative feeling into inspiration. Be intentionally refocusing together on your core values and vision for where your practice is going. Rally around that inspiring future and work together to find your next super star team member. 

Use my past mistakes and learnings to lead your team more effectively. Doing so will allow you to sleep better when you inevitably have to let your next team member go because you will know you did everything possible to allow success.